Dogs have souls

I had a stupid debate with a friend of mine after his 7 year-old dog died. a really stupid debate. i guess he must be angry with me. i don't even know why i am just so busybody. Who is he to me? And why do i have to care so much?

After doggie died for four years of his life. i was totally saddened. Angry. Fear. Empty. Sudden death he went through after some stupid drunken guy drove over him. I lost my best friend. Fot one whole week..i didn't want to go out of my house..nor do i wanna eat..drink..i don't have any appetite at all..

Back in university.. this close friend of mine asked me what are the very first thing i will do when i get back home..there's only one thing in my mind... TO BATH MY DOGGIE & lead him for a walk..

He used to lick me to wake me up early in the morning at 6 a.m for a morning walk.. yes..he licked me a lot.. i know deep inside he loves me.. not a single soul may understand this bond..

my friend told me one morning he's bringing his doggie out for a walk.. i cried.. i cried like hell i cry.. i can't stop as my eyes hurt..it hurts that much till tha extend i can't even get out of my house.. i am too embarrased with myself.. my eyes sore.. i stayed in bed the whole day..

though, i tried to get up.. i know it's his time..Life will constantly grasp away things that belongs to you..but God..instead of giving what i want back to me..i know that one day..He will give me back what i need..

nope..my friend do not believe it when i told him i dreamt my doggie says i love u and asks him to wipe away his tears.. he told me that animals do not have souls.. i am saddened by his statement.. i am not satisfied.. i am so angry.. i told him that his dog is peering down on him from heaven that one day u will not miss him anymore..but his memories..his bark..will always,forever takes place in his heart.. instead of consoling him..i push him to stand strong..explain again to him that his dog needs to go back "home"..where someone over there will take good care of him and doggie will keep an eye on him.. i guess..he don't believe me.. nope he will never believe me.. he was extra saddened by what i said..

MY PROOF:

http://www-hsc.usc.edu/~cypert/dick/inheaven.html

I wanna say a big thanks to my bestie...steph for her answer... Joseph bro my veterinar friend for his opinion as well..

Though most of all..i wanna thank Rufina my dearie junior for lending her ear^^

To this friend of mine..u know who u are.. no doubt u are smarter than me.. no doubt..animal-knowledge i may not know & understand like u do..i am nothing compare to u.. but there is one thing i hold strongly onto in life..I BELIEVE..& it suffice..

I know it's hard to let go of ur loved ones.. especially him whom have been with you for so many years..but he need to go back home.. i just hope & pray that u will one day understand.. & stand strong..wipe away the tears and let him smile because he loves u & is peering at u from heaven^^

RIP doggie..i can't forget..how cruel the driver..the car is..how ur blood..ur flesh.. gosh..in front of my naked eyes.. i can't forget how u suffer..

I used to love purple, but not now; not anymore

My former room mate back in Kuantan had been pouring out what had been inside her for such a long time. i had been missing her dearly. To the extend that i wanna tell her everything, though distance & time do not allow us to do so.

We used to share lotsa things that others can't share. We know basically every little thing about each other. Yes we are of two different backgrounds, two different kind of girl. But there is one thing we always share and always will i cherish forever. We share the same God, same faith, same love^^

The moment i step my foot out of Kuantan, i have made up my mind; there are things that i really wanna change in life though i have no clue how it is suppose to be.

Let's write a rhyme of poem out of it:

i used to love purple, i really do
but not now, not anymore
i used to love the things we did with them, i guess u know what i mean
but not now, not anymore

i used to love him, i really do
but not now, not anymore
i used to think in my own shell, my own comfort zone
but not now, not anymore

i guess only u & i will be able to understand
they told me i change, an extreme change
but then i told them i didn't change at all, not a bit

i don't like how i used to be in Kuantan,
doing evil things that are against my faith
i don't like how i am controlled by him, u know what i mean

i regretted what i did, confessions i did
but time really heals
i made up my mind...
i don't wanna go back...
nor do i wanna dwell in the past..

But my dearie girl, we are not immature anymore like how we used to be..
back in those days..
yes u & i change a lot..
but one thing for sure..
i know..we change to be a better person in God's name..
& i like how the way it is now..

my dearie girl, i believe u are a gift from God to me..
u are a miracle that i prayed before we even met..
believe me..
they may not understand.. but i don't care..as long as u & i & God understand..
we know our paths that we are doing it right..

so do not be afraid to take any step..
for God is watching over u..
He will keep an eye on u..u are the cross that He is carrying..

Though i love u too much to tell u this..
i cherish all the moments i had in Kuantan..especially with u..
for it's true what they said that i changed.. yes i did.. but change to be more of me than i used to be..u too i believe^^

He still love me..
He still love u..
u & i know..
but it's a wrong kind of love..
we let the evil control us..
i hope they change.. but i am glad u did^^

Love is just patient & kind
Love is not selfish
Love is altruistic..
u & i know what it means..
i can only pray..that always u will be..strong enough for him & her..
God wants u to be that way..

And to the end of days i will always keep an eye on u..
we learnt a lot don't we?
at least we get to learn from our mistake of evil love..
though the best part is..we get to fall in love again^^
it's painful i know..but at least we know now deep inside this is the right one..
for i used to love purple, but not now, not anymore^^

(Dedicated to Dorine Patrick, Lots of Love from former room mate)
P.S: I would as well like to dedicate this to two guys that i used to know,u know who u are, i hope they change in God's name, i really do.

Amazing sisterly love

Days ago, a good friend of mine asks me whether i will be scare if my sister gets married or have a partner in her life. will i feel like i won't be able to get more love & attention like i used to have??

Truthfully, i do not have any clue of how to explain to her. i deeply know what she is going through as her sister is getting married soon. As days passed i begin to feel guilty, not only for her but for my sister as well... ...

AMAZING SISTERLY LOVE
sister, they told me is whom u pour out everything
sister, they told me is whom will take care of u through thick & thin..
sister, the one great amazing love that u can get from someone u have live the rest of ur life with.

sometimes u get angry..
sometimes u fear..
sometime u get jealous of her..

sometimes there is unfairness..
where God put u to test..
but yet i know deep inside.. i love her..

u are mean
sometimes nasty
sometimes immature
other times u make me laugh ..
but most of the time u make me angry..

yet i know deep inside..i love her..
cruel it is the world today..where demons & devils serparate us away..

do u remember once when we were young??
beneath green boughs which faded long ago..
we played hopscotch there by the field..
where we will get wounds & injuries that leave us scars that cannot be heal??
& mama will always look us wide in the eye & angry she will be to u & I..

do u remember once when we were young??
when old cassette tapes are still available??
& angels demons we never fear??
u are always the tall slim pretty while i will always stay chubby ..
i used to hate it that way sis..
i hate it when they compaare..
i hate it when i am jealous of u..
in terms of talent & looks..i am never gonna be like u..

yet as we grew older..
when we turn our heads & leave our souls there in Sandakan..
the place where we were once bred..nourish & cared..
missing mama everyday have always been a routine..
but i never thought i will miss u..
never thought i will change..& here it goes i truly love u..

yes dear sis.. people still compare until now when decades pass to form wrinkles in the eyes..
the way they look at you & i..
i know they are assuming..things they do not know deep inside..
where u are tall n i m short..
u look chinese while i m not..
u are fair & i m not..

that is all they know..
but we know deep inside..we are biological sisters at heart..
not just externally..
we share the same blood..
share the same name..
most of all..we share the same God same love^^

there i told the friend of mine..
"not at all i will get jealous or fear that i will lost thee attention or love from my beloved sister.. in fact, i feel extremely happy for her..that she found the one..i am not scare that i will lose her love.. i am more scare that she will get hurt because i love her.."

Love i told her.. is altruistic..
i love her & there will i be one day on the day she become an aide to her man witnessing her to begin a new partition of her life..
officially she will be leaving home to call another home her home..
but here mama & i will always be cheering & supporting internally..
happy tears we want to witness one day..not the tears of pain..

i put her needs above my needs because i love her..
once again i told my friend..
if we love them we have to set them free..
because it is an amazing sisterly love^^

(Dedicated to Janice Gimbad, from your biological sister & sister at heart)

Set love free

my room mate asks me questions about love that i am unable to make her understand because experiences she may have not been through. Days after that, my former room mate tells me a sad love story that i suddenly jot down to create as a simple poem.It reminds me of someone as i fell in love again.

Love is blind, but it is patient & kind.
Love is not jealous, nor is it conceited,
Love is not boastful.

Love is painful but memorable,
Love hates the evil & only are happy with the truth;
Love can make u smile as well as does it makes u cry.

Love, it is so hard to find..
but once u get trap into Love..
u can never let go..
there it will be crawling & linger around ur life..

Love is beautiful
Love is altruistic
It is amazingly beautiful..but one thing for sure.. it pierce u deeply once u have to let it go..

Never can u imagine, u could fell in love again..
this time it is different..he is different..
it feels different..
sacrifices u made for him..teardrops u shed..
but he never know.. it kills u inside gradually

His egoism is so high,
it almost touches the sky;
and it kills u inside.
The sharpness of the blade hurt u piercingly,
he did it again unintentionally by making u cry.
it is hard to wake up from this stupid dream we have.
of all the things u have sacrifice to care & nourish him,
A gift of a sharp knife is the only present he could give to u.

u thought he is different,
but he is just a mirror of the devils whom did the same to u.

but dearest whom i cherish,
love is just patient & kind, it is not hateful nor it is boastful;
it is painful & stupid when we love,
but it is worth it, the sacrifice;
because at least we get to love,
at least we know now, how painful it is, we learn..to set love free.

(Dedicated to Elaine Teh, Lots of love from former room mate)